Busy day today as a new supervisor at a new officemax. I think the managers are going to try to start pushing me around and I got really kind of umm... scared. I'm not a confrontational person but I can do what i have to do when I'm backed into a corner. Like this evening when im mowing my lawn, the neighbor kids are throwing pinecones and shit at me. I yell at them and they get quiet. I resume but then the do it again, so i go over and see them and yell at them. they get kinda scared and they stop but jesus... am i going to be tormented by middle school children my whole life? its bad enough that i've become antisocial because of them but i dont understand why it has to resume. anyways... yeah... i emailed my district manager and see what she says i should do. then i'll go from there.
hope to see christopher soon.
Met a really great guy this evening. He's absolutely gorgeous and strong. Very charming with light brown curly hair and blue eyes. And he lives 10 minutes from me in vancouver. Its truely a shame that he'll be moving away to the coast in a month or so, but... hopefully he'll decide it might be fun to visit me from time to time. At any rate, it will divert me from gay.com. I'm sick of that place. Lots of opportunity, lots of heart break, lots of hopes and let downs. He's not very out, this man, but hopefully he'll find the strength to catch hold of some independance soon.
Starting new job this morning i better get some friggin sleep. I feel like i'ms tarting a new character that I get to customize cause I can run the department however i want. Good thing is that the gal i'm replacing had it going pretty good but... I'm meticulous so i'm sure i'll get it even more nice as soon as i figure out what the hell i'm dong there. Most everyone there is old and icky. No one young and vibrant. I'm very afraid. I need to get a car. I need to catch hold of my own independance. heh oh the ironies of life.
Yay! I almost got hit by a car today. <3 <3 <3 I was waiting at the intersection of fourth plain and Andresen when the light turns green and the happy walk man lights up. And I do so gladly when i look to my left and some mexicans who were trying to make the left turn light comes screeching to a halt about 2 or 3 yards away from me. I look at the driver with a grip of fear and I see he has it too. Pretty aweful. I hurry across the street with my heart pounding just wanting to go home... blargh... He was driving some sort of pimped vehicle that should NOT be pimped. heh
On a good note, my lighted keyboard and black light cathodes have arrived for my computer. haappyyyy. this light up keyboard is not as condensed as my last one. so will be much easier to use.
Oh, happy valentine's day to whomever shall be spending it with someone. I wont be. :(
Wow, I've forgotten how much I love the wind. Riding against it this morning was humbling but BOY, i was afraid I'd go too fast riding with it this evening! it was great! Still wasn't fast enough to get me to the liquer store in time before it closed but... theres always tomorrow. blargh... Today i think will be a good day to rearrange my room to put the head of my bed against the window. It shall be great for listening to the elements. The ride to and from work I think makes a great metaphor for things in general; just takes patience, determination and sweat. :)
I been putting some serious mileage on my bike lately; feels pretty good. Today I fixed my bike with some lovely goo that goes inside the tires and then did some shopping. Got my self some much desired bungee cords and a bunch o other stuff. Then went to work for a gruelling stressful day, but got a lot finished. After work I had a happy happy 4 mile ride from my work to my landlady's to drop off rent, and then a merry mile back home. I know it doesn't seem far but when you go over the hill from 4th plain to Mill plain blvd phew.... you'll know what i mean.
Oh, and then joy of joys, found i locked myself so i had to use my dreaded trick I use to get into the house. i DONT Like doing it... blargh... but I like sleeping in cold dewey grass even less hmm?
But now I am home... all is quiet. No messages on the phone. Only a couple messages on the computer but nothing worth mentioning. I have one friend who likes me but he has plans to move to San Fracisco. Not going there. And....now to wind down.
Well my weekend took a strange turn. Not really the best turn but at least it was a productive one.
I'm not fond of how I seem to have these built in devices that test people's patience and find what may or may not be shortcomings. These devices seem to go on a heyday when I find a prospect. Unfortunately those devices can really leave me disappointed at times for the result they came up with (family feud dinger) LACK OF TENACITY and LACK OF HUMILITY. This probably isn't a quality that entirely defines this character, but it IS a quality that tends to stand out when this character is dealing with me. Long story short... If I was ever a prospect for this person, when I walked away, 1. might have had the TENACITY to pursue me if even in the slightest bit to be friends and beyond or 2. been HUMBLE enough to difuse the situation. Its all I can do now to sit and wonder because he really seems to have no interest anymore. And i figure if his interest was so easily dispersed, it may not have been worth seeking after in the beginning? I dont know for sure, but I cant help from aching still... and still i am sorry. But in out of anger I deleted his screen name and cant remember it for the life of me.
So a couple girlfriends from work called friday evening for movies and drinks and i took advantage of that. That was delightful. I should do that more often. I then cleaned my home; also delightful and also something I should do more often.
I now prepare for another monotonous week at work and I am left with no prospects and nothing to look forward to other than a new game that I have started. Dungeon Siege 2 is fun, but I think I put skills that I dont really enjoy into the character. I wonder if I ought to start over or stick it out cause I've already played a full day. *sigh*
Have met a new fellow last week at a "Martha Party". *low sinister chuckle* No, it is not something i play on going to often and I wasn't even around for the Martha part of it. It was for my ex boyfriend, Seth who had the party. He is a very nice chap. Anyways, Robert had actually a date with my roommate the week before and so I wasn't one to intrude so I stayed in my room as usual. So anyways, 2 days after this party he messages me and we hang out and we hit it off.
He's still a total sweetheart and doesn't seem to have any hangups of any kind. Drinks on a rare occasion. Doesn't have a huge temper or any extreme prudish tendancies. Not a major queen. He's has more strength than i do which is kinda neat. He likes my cooking. *shrug* Will have to see how it goes. it just seems to be going a long pretty quickly and... I have some tendancies of my own i have to shake off though they do not involve him. I'm just used to being single i suppose. Used to feeling sorry for myself. Used to being alone and my roommate making me feel even more alone.
So now i feel like i can go on with my life and do what makes me happy. Hmm...its saturday...perhaps a bit of dancing can be found tonight as i only work at noon tomorrow. *grin*
As I go to pick up my bike from where I keep it stored at work, i discover my tire is flat. I know that it was just a matter of time before this was gonna happy because my tire has been funky and pretty much beyond repair anymore. So I had a lovely 3 mile walk home at 10:30pm. Took me like 45 minutes. blah... Luckily I had my lovely mp3 player to perk up the trip. I disocovered I have a lovely mix of some funk tunes. I love myself a good bit o funk.
Tomorrow I shall find myself a new bike somewhere. oh yes...and it shall be devine... maybe i should just suck it up and spend 200 bucks on a bike..*sigh*